Photo Journey

The best things are always harder than you imagine but turn out great.  Maybe.

Nope.

After struggling in the darkroom for a few weeks with photos that I hated, I was damn hard on myself.

I deplore working with the weird 35mm camera that I bought off Craig’s list.  I spent all the time learning with the other used semi second-hand digital camera.  Still learning .. But at least the photos were good.   And that nice lens I bought... people noticed. 

Anyway .. we are not using that now in class.. or anything with color...so the day before the assignment... and a huge mental block for no reason.... I had to do something.

"I will photograph a bottle of Chianti "....which is a beautiful thing... but not how I posed it and propped it... gag of all gags.

And I am not "good" enough to rush a project, loosing light in the first overcast night of the year.  But I did.  And with the 1990s 35mm Canon.  

And that’s what I stood in the dark with  for 6 hours trying to process and get art to arise.  Nope.  The photos were soulless and meaningless to begin with. I knew it... but I needed / need to accept and deal with the humility that comes from errors.  Rushing, planning, overthinking, worry, fear.

So test strip after test strip... feeling like a fool as 19 year olds plucked out the lively black and whites.... their love and art emerged from the watery pans. For obvious reasons their art seemed beautiful and connective. Mine was dull and lifeless.   Even the classmates felt so bad as they said, "that’s pretty" or "oh that was your favorite one?"  Bless them.

And I’ve been hard on myself... even though I am framing that wine picture.... oh yea... the beginning.  The Birth.

So in my return, I was brave enough to take live portraits at a work event and they turned out wonderful.   Me, behind my camera, connected and people posed and offered beautiful smiles and poses.  And it showed.

I worked hard on homework tonight... and while I was disappointed in the outcome of the project... I got 100% on the quiz.   Woot woot🌞

Tonight I also reshot a photo for class that didn’t quite fit the assignment.  I think it worked. WIN!

I finally just gave myself permission to go outside and take pictures.   Like I’ve done my whole life.   

For fun, no auto exposure, but permission to use color. I sat on the ground and used what I’ve spent 28 hours learning (just the beginning)  and put through the lens what I love,from my eye and heart.

And I had fun... and I saw progress.  

TCG2018

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