Feels like War

It feels like I am doing nothing in the middle of a war.

I am afraid, but I feel like I am sitting at home waiting to hear casualties.   I feel helpless.

It feels guilty to complain.  Would I do more? Could I do more front line work.  Are the responders as brave as soldiers jumping off to Normandy?  Yes...and they are informed more than ever.  And they are dying.

Are people watching the damage of double casualties of  the Iraq Wars and four times 911 casualties...IN 4 weeks?

I read and I hear people still comparing it to a year of flu...or a year of car accidents.  I do not understand or recall a 12,000 month of auto deaths???

I don't understand.   Anderson wants to talk about decisions made in February... people want to talk about unprepared.  Who was prepared?  Who would talk?  Who knew?  And we watch the statistics each day like the boom and gunshot of the Hunger Games... who is dead now?  

I will fill my blog with earth and beautiful moments for the weeks to come.  But I need everyone to know that I feel this is a war like no other.   And I understand the vulnerability of minorities from lack of equality for the years.  I feel the trauma.  But I understand the right and need for us to have hope.

I appreciate the fight and if the fight is to show beauty in our days and gratitude .... if that is what I can do...then I will do that no until I figure out a better way to help.  I do not believe our life will ever be the same again.  I do not KNOW if it is going to be better or worse.

Covid-19  almost 3 weeks - shelter in place and I feel not very useful.

The universe will sort something out in between the stupid wreckage of man and evil... but it is WAR.