Monday, December 16, 2024

 More fictional writing.  


He did not leave to save her.

He did not leave because he thought she deserved more.

He did not leave her for her own sake.

He left to save himself.

He left to serve himself.

He left to erase his past instead of face it.

He could not forgive himself.

He said he could not out run his past.

Who can?

He was too afraid to dig in and live up to his promise.

He was too afraid of what he could not say.

He did not love her.

It was easier to erase and replace than to heal.

It was not a hero’s story.

What he tells himself and his reasons was the path out.

Abuse, deciept and cruelty was how he broke her down.

And he did break her down.

In the cruelest of ways.

He pushed her to be something that she was not and used it to leave her.

He left ruins of pain, he left a path of victims.

He became what she called him.

He hated it because it was true.

He was and became his father.

Sunday, December 15, 2024

In between and later on

 In between and later on, things happen.

A hair appointment that was more fun and cozy than ever.  Even with some chemicals gone wrongs.  As she scrunched my new curly extensions she caught my boobs.  We laughed.  I said… “ I come here for many reasons.”  

The therapy

The mimosa

The Hair

The Friendship 

And the feel up!  Ha ha ha

I smile. My hair is amazing.  For whom? Me.

I got a book in the mail.  Alexa Marketed it to me.  

I am reading again so maybe it was good to get a book.  I stare at the fully loaded kindle.  As I do not read in bed any more the book feels good in my hands.

Then book is “The Last Thing She Ever Did, Gregg Olsen.

I surely will keep my posted thoughts.

I am re-listening to Matthew Maconaughey - Green Lights.  I missed something the first time. I missed the belief that this could be anyone. 

Have a good day. Peace.


Friday, December 13, 2024

Families

 The family…parents and kids.  I think this should be the strongest bond.  It is not … because the husband and wife family bond could be the weakest link and tear it all down.

The sister family.  I say that as I have seen the sister family as powerful and beautiful. Sister to sister that is.

The work family.  Is that a family.  Maybe.  If you work for a family and you spend over two decades, it might be stronger than the “family.”  

It is fake? They pay you money to do a job.  But if you stay and stay and they give you all the love and you walk away on happy air, then it it is more than just the work family.

Random thoughts.  Do you you have a non blood family that is way up high?  That you count on.  They are excited to see you …even if they saw you 45 hours a week. 

I think my point in this little writing is to … watch for the Joy.  Watch for the love.  It is so easy to see, feel and recognize.   


Wednesday, December 11, 2024

She did not have a story.

She had a life.

She wrote things down.

She wrote everything down.

She wrote good things down.

She wrote on the web, she wrote emails, she posted.

Sharing was good.

Most things written down were to expel.

To expel and not read again.

When did she start writing things down because she was not believed?

Why did she need to document.

Perhaps she needed to remind herself?

Or she needed proof.

In the end the writing would save her.

Not for vindication, but because she got away.

 He has a story.  The reason.  The why.

It took about a year and a half for him to put it together.  

He put it together with notes rather than feeling.

He put it together alone, even though it was not a solo activity.

He put it together precisely.

All along he had to check notes and check his facts.  

He didn’t want to lie or be wrong.

But the story became that what ended all things.

The story empowered him.

It was a family trait to remember a story and re-tell it and believe it.

It was all he ever knew of a family.  Broken stories.

That did not make it true.

Once it was memorized and written down, it became The Story, The Why.


*fiction story writing.  All events are made up and not related to any living human. 

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

 Hello .. yes.. it’s been awhile…

I am thinking there will not be a lot of violin talk or soap news.

I do make soap and I don’t play the violin.  

I sold my violin to pay bills.

And this will be a place to write fictitious very short or very long stories.   Kind of a safe place because it is like screaming into a Forrest. No one will hear you, but you needed to scream.

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Flare, Cororna - A review by Toni


About Flare, Corona:

Against a constellation of solar weather events and evolving pandemic, Jeannine Hall Gailey’sFlare, Corona paints a self-portrait of the layered ways that we prevail and persevere through illness and natural disaster.

Gailey deftly juxtaposes odd solar and weather events with the medical disasters occurring inside her own brain and body— we follow her through a false-alarm terminal cancer diagnosis, a real diagnosis of MS, and finally the onset of the coronavirus pandemic. The solar flare and corona of an eclipse becomes the neural lesions in her own personal “flare,” which she probes with both honesty and humor. While the collection features harbingers of calamity, visitations of wolves, blood moons, apocalypses, and plagues, at the center of it all are the poet’s attempts to navigate a fraught medical system, dealing with a series of challenging medical revelations, some of which are mirages and others that are all too real. 

In Flare, Corona, Jeannine Hall Gailey is incandescent and tender-hearted, gracefully insistent on teaching us all of the ways that we can live, all of the ways in which we can refuse to do anything but to brilliantly and stubbornly survive.



My Review can not even compare to the above "about Flare, Corona."   I strongly agree with that synopsis. 

I read about 2-3  of the poems/works each day.   Each one to me is like a strong heavy drink.  Also I don't always know exactly what I am reading or the true meaning, but I feel it very strong.    After reading more and more it began to sink into the timing and the meaning... I felt powerful sad, and strong.  I love the deep raw stuff. 

I feel it in my brain, it feels like stream of consciousness poetry and I feel my brain grip it and go places with it.   I cry and I wonder as I read.  Connective writing to a very confusing time for all, and yet so personal to the author.  

I recommend this collection.  It's a grand slam on emotion. 




Join the rest of the tour and see what everyone has to say. 


Blog Tour Schedule:


May 18: Review Tales by Jeyran Main (interview)
May 23: Author Anthony Avina blog (review)
May 25: Author Anthony Avina blog (guest post)
May 30: The Book Lover's Boudoir (review)
June 6: The bookworm (review)
June 13: The Soapy Violinist (review)
June 15: Celtic Lady's Reviews (guest post)
June 20: True Book Addict (review)


About the Poet:


Jeannine Hall Gailey is a writer with MS who served as the second Poet Laureate of Redmond, Washington. She is the author of five books of poetry: Becoming the Villainess, She Returns to the Floating World, Unexplained Fevers, The Robot Scientist's Daughter, Field Guide to the End of the World, the winner of the Moon City Press Book Award and the SFPA's Elgin Award, and upcoming in 2023, Flare, Corona from BOA Editions. She also wrote a non-fiction book called PR for Poets to help poets trying to promote their books. Her poems have been featured on NPR's The Writer's Almanac and on Verse Daily; two were included in 2007's The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror. She was awarded a 2007 and 2011 Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg Prize for Poetry and a 2007 Washington State Artist Trust GAP grant. Her poems have appeared in American Poetry Review, Poetry, and Ploughshares.



 

Monday, May 8, 2023

The rain and storms and fallen trees…

It gave backyard delights to plants thought to be dead from drought.   It’s a lesson…. It’s hope… we can live again after devastation.





 

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

A special little photo shoot

 



 Beautiful Valentino. I never had this breed in my list unlike all the rest of the world!  :) 

After having this grand soul in my life, I know why they are loved and adored.  Obedient and protective, loyal and beautiful.

Valentino is my heart❤️

Sunday, April 30, 2023

All the things

 Planting…hopefully…

Living breathing …hopefully.


Denial is pretty thick…but it is navigated ok.

Reality is a concept.


Being busy is best.

Being sad is ok.


Hope is just another word for waiting anxiously for nothing.

Hope is the future, now is the pain.


Peace is welcome…yet a deceiving thief of time.

It’s lies and procrastinates 


Body decay and discomfort is present, it seems to mock.


Self-care is in the air.  Nothing cost too much and every bit matters.


Thoughts are a lie

Thoughts are manipulated.


The world is mostly good.


Toni Colleen 

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

A little Chily photo shoot.









 December 2022 just a few out of 167.   ☀️☀️☀️☀️#sunscream #sweetkids #tonicollenphotographycom 

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Guest Post from Luanne Castle author Rooted and Winged.

Rooted and Winged by Luanne Castle - Guest Post.

READING AND WRITING SLANT


When you read a poem, do you ever wonder how the poet tackled the subject—or why she did it the way she did?


Most poetry takes advantage of Emily Dickinson’s advice in the following poem:


“Tell all the Truth but tell it slant--
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise

As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind--”


Tell all the truth. Don’t hide from even disturbing truths. But tell it slant. Don’t come at the subject straight on, but circuitously so that readers arrive at a truth slowly enough that they can accept it. 


Ever notice a glaring mistake made by someone close to you? Then you directly point it out, thinking they will see what you see. But it doesn’t work that way most times. Instead, your friend or relative is blind to their error even as it stares them in the face. 


So what do you do? You come at the subject from a position a bit off to the side, start the conversation rolling toward your goal, and eventually, the loved one may come to the problem themselves. You might even think of it as not talking at someone, but with them.


That’s how it is with poetry. There is no poem without the reader in dialogue with the poet. When you read a poem, your share of the conversation is that voice in your head. It might say, “Oh, yeah, I can relate to bobcats and hawks in Luanne’s backyard. I get deer and once I saw an eagle in the tree way out back.” Or this, “Why don’t I go back and drive past the house I grew up in and see what it looks like now?” Or, “I have special memories of my grandparents, too.” This internal dialogue is why every reading of every poem is idiosyncratic—your reading will never be the same as your friend’s or mine or the guy down the street. We will bring different experiences and knowledge to our reading.


When writing a poem, I come up with different ways to write slant. One of those is to come up with complicating factors. If I want to write about a natural disaster, I might tell myself that I have to add a Greek myth, scientific data, or both. 


Another way to write slant is to impose a writing prompt on the image or subject you have in mind. Writing prompts are shared on many blogs, as well as in craft books such as those by Diane Lockward. 


A third way to write slant is to write a very direct poem, then cut apart the lines or even phrases and re-arrange on the table or desk or even the floor. Arrange them randomly and see what fun you can have by moving them around. Sometimes you will need to find connective tissue which means generating new images and thoughts, but it might simply be that the poem needs to be told backwards.



Thank you to Author for this most excellent post.


About the author:


Luanne Castle’s new poetry collection is Rooted and Winged (Finishing Line Press). Kin Types (Finishing Line Press), a chapbook of poetry and flash nonfiction, was a finalist for the Eric Hoffer Award. Her first collection of poetry, Doll God (Aldrich), won the New Mexico-Arizona Book Award for Poetry. Luanne’s Pushcart and Best of the Net-nominated poetry and prose have appeared in Copper Nickel, American Journal of Poetry, Pleiades, Tipton Poetry Review, River Teeth, TAB, Verse Daily, Glass: A Journal of Poetry, Saranac Review, Grist, and other
journals.




The poems of Rooted and Winged explore the emotional and physical movement of flight and falling. They are of the earth, the place of fertile origins, and of the dream world we observe and imagine when we look upward. Golems and ghosts that emerge from the ground, as well as the birds and angels that live above us, inhabit the collection. We will always be striving for flight, even as we feel most comfortable closest to the earth.













Thank you for letting me be a part of this tour to Serena at  Poetic Book Tours


The poems of Rooted and Winged explore the emotional and physical movement of flight and falling. They are of the earth, the place of fertile origins, and of the dream world we observe and imagine when we look upward. Golems and ghosts that emerge from the ground, as well as the birds and angels that live above us, inhabit the collection. We will always be striving for flight, even as we feel most comfortable closest to the earth.



Blog Tour Schedule:

Sept. 15: Review Tales by Jeyran Main (interview)

Sept. 22: The Bookish Elf (interview)

Sept. 28: the bookworm (guest post)

Oct. 4: Author Anthony Avina’s Blog (interview)

Oct. 11: The Book Connection (interview)

Oct. 19: CelticLady’s Reviews (guest post)

Oct. 25: The Soapy Violinist (guest post)

Follow the blog tour with the hashtag #rootedandwinged @writersitetweet #LuanneCastl

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Review by Toni - Sticks and Stones by Chelsea DeVries

They tell you about the dangers of riptide but no one warns you that you could be swept down into the riptide of who someone else is. 
-Drowning In An Ocean of No Tomorrows



Hello!  It has been a while since I reviewed some poetry and checked in.   I am excited to be writing and talking about books.  I am finally really more again and I feel myself and inspired.  This reading was  such a good way to get back in the groove.  

 I am starting it off with Sticks and Stones by Chelsea DeVries. Available at Amazon.


Here is my review: 

I have never read a book like this before.  For me it was a journal of prose and honesty that was completely relatable.   I love the current theme in the book.  Applicable to our work places, and social media.   I read it in two sittings.  My favorite piece is an Angel in a Red Dress.   It is what I do and how I think when I no longer care who is watching me.  My vice is the red lipstick and I will forever hear that when I go in and put on my red lips ... for me it is how I do me and how I have learned to love me.   (goosebumps)

Mostly through out the book I was amazed at the trauma and the resilience.  How could one go through so much and still write it all down and face it?  How could they use all this trauma and continued pain to share and to inspire.  

It is one of the best collections I have read in a long time.  I have to say because it is on my level of comprehension and as a whole I was able to sink in the lyrical symbol parts of the poetry that sometimes escapes me in other poetry. 

I will say this as praise that the poetry that sometimes seemed obsessive is how I write in private and I found kinship in the obsessions and coping of the writing.

I  have journals and journals and poems.  I feel when my writing gets to honest, I start a new journal.   I haven't been able to write it all down and keep it flowing in my life's work because I am not brave enough.  I want to start it over and I want new pages, I am not like this author that could put it together and keep going one after the other.

This is a brave piece of work.  I truly recommend reading it and sharing it.    I truly recommend thinking of the things  (paraphrase) ...you want to say to someone and saying to yourself in the mirror also.

Thank you Chelsea DeVries.   I believe your poetry makes a difference in the world and I am so grateful beyond all things that it came to me at the precise right time.  And I do have faith the size of a mustard seed so I grapple and fail a lot.   And the scripture references were very comforting to me as this is what I am familiar.

Mostly I am sorry for the things you had to endure to write that beautiful book.  

Epic, powerful, painful and inspiration.




More about the book:
In Sticks and Stones, DeVries paints a poetic picture of rising above toxicity, love found and love lost, and delves into what it means to find strength in the human spirit. Through poetry, the reader finds a voice of strength and the rebuilding of one's heart a home with all the sticks and stones thrown upon it. Newly expanded with more full color photos, 41 new poems, and a rewrite of Drowning in An Ocean of No Tomorrows, DeVries shows a full poetic picture of turning pain into poetry in order so you can rise above whatever is pulling you under.

SticksandStones

About the Author:
Chelsea DeVries wanted to be a writer at the age of 7. Her first publishing credit came at the age of 14 with a poem in a student anthology. She then wrote nonstop while doing IB classes in high school. She published two YA novels while still in high school which after over 10 years she rewrote as a NA romance that she looks to put out as her next publication. She is a seeker of justice and uses her words to free this world’s outcasted, peculiar, and underdogs from the chains that bind them. When not writing she runs and does PR for authors and musicians with her bookish brand The  Smart Cookie Philes. Though she’s Florida born and raised, she has New Jersey in her veins. She currently lives in Port Richey, FL with her squad of two dogs. In October 2020, DeVries was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome which is a form of Autism.


Thank you to Serena at Poetic Book Tours for inviting me to be part of the really awesome tour.
For more information and great posts please follow along with the Blog Tour.


Follow the online tour with hashtag #sticksandstonespoetry

Advance Praise:

“This collection of poetry and innovative thinking by Chelsea DeVries is a remarkable work of words. Sticks and Stones: Full Story Edition is a definite read, and please, read the dedication at the beginning of the book, and then you know the set stage for this book. It is personal. The words almost float across the pages, bringing different situations and emotions to light, in a very toxic world. After reading this, I realized what the title actually alludes to, and how it just fit this unputdownable collection. Such a wonderful read. My favorite was Perks of Being a Wallflower which starts with ‘I’m just a girl, Really strong, like petals on a flower, I wilt.’ I liked this so much, I read many of the poems twice. I look forward to reading more by this poet. Sticks and Stones is a definite recommendation.” –Amy’s Bookshelf Reviews.


Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Review by Toni Colleen - Impermanence by Ren Powell


I try to review Poetry writings and read them because I need to.  I believe we all need to.     My mind is so literal sometimes that it is hard for me to get carried away in poetry.   But the more you read, the more you feel what you are reading.

This book was not like some of the poetry that is too much for me. 

I am just going to say it up front this collection was utterly mesmerizing and is completely beautifully written.  It is a cohesive collection  of poems that had a meaning for me in almost every single one.    I reviewed the pdf, so I did not get the tactile part of the art actually in my hands.  However even without that the artistry stands on fine ground digitally.    The collection reads perfectly all together and also individually. 

My mind was absorbed in writing and the nature and the themes "The stories we tell." I found it to be an elevating read and personally grounding in the words and some of the  plain and simple truths of our human existence and connection to nature and the inanimate world. 

I became engrossed in thought about the stories we tell for people to understand, and how we can not actually land that story because it can and most likely will morph along the way -  out of our control in our very short existence. 

It has stunning, creative and thought provoking artwork with a touch of hand writing, and photos of a bust that reoccur throughout the book.  I didn't seem to "get it" until as I was watching this bust as a part of everything in the universe and the connectivity of everything in life.  By the end of the book it was alive and thinking along with me.   It showed up for me in the journey into this book.  I was not alone.

My favorite parts: ( I will only pick two

"You are
an origami box
in a soft rain.

Who turned you over 
and over - running a
bone folder along
your once-open body
to close you in
on yourself?"
 
and

"And when the Storm passes
it will have dropped lizards
from faraway lands 
into your lap"

I have no regrets on reading this book except I don't have it in my hands, that I did not read it outside, or on a mountain or at the coffee shop.   I will be reading this over and over again. 






About The  Book

Impermanence by Ren Powell
A Mad Orphan Lit. Publication
A Conceptual Multimedia Artwork:
42 Poems
Plaster/paper mache bust (video) and photography
Acrylic Monoprints
Moroccan handmade paper (hardcover)


"We are the stories, and our bodies books...

This project began with meditation on the idea of impermanence. And with this image, with
the body-as-story slowly losing shape. With our.narratives falling apart, becoming loose
elements that can/will be rearranged in another story. Which is what history is, after all.
The bust was made of plaster and paper mache and was photographed in various locations in the Jæren landscape of Norway. It was supposed to break up slowly in the waterfall during filming. However, it was taken by the current and slipped under an old mill house - trapped by the torrent of water, the wooden
beams, and the rocks.

But, well, this is what happens when we try to plan our stories. Isn’t it?"

Double-Needle Coptic Stitching
(note: this intentionally loose stitch allows for an open-back and “lay flat” binding)
15 X 20 cm, 64 pages
Text block: 160 gsm acid-free, ethically resourced paper
Limited series of 10
April 2021
120 EURO plus shipping.
Ships from Norway. http://madorphanlit.com
Paperback facsimiles available at
https://www.blurb.com/b/10652707-impermanence
for 15 USD plus shipping. (link includes preview)


WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT IT

“Ren Powell’s Impermanence acts as a reminder, both visual and visceral–in its
physiological meaning (the heart, the gut)–that we live in and through the stories we tell.
The cursive in her illustrations operates as one of several connectors that loop through
her poems until these pictures and words combine to create, as she puts it, origami boxes: 
“your stories/ folding in on themselves.”

 

– Ann E. Michael, poet and novelist


“... you look up day after day surprised by the foreign landscapes of your own making”
Ren Powell’s seventh poetry collection dissects the minutiae of life, and puts it back
together in different unfamiliar shapes. Impermanence is what we are. In this collection of
new poems, Ren Powell turns the human condition into a collage of words, drawings, and
the blank spaces between breaths."

 

-Richard Pierce, poet/novelist/radio personality


WHO IS REN POWELL?

Ren Powell is a writer and teaching artist. She is a native Californian – now a Norwegian
citizen settled on the west coast of Norway. Ren has been a member of The Norwegian
Author’s Union since 2005 and has published six full-length collections of poetry and more
than two dozen books of translations with traditional publishing houses. Her poetry
collections have been purchased by the Norwegian Arts Council for national library
distribution, and her poems have been translated and published in eight languages. Ren is
currently focusing on handbound poetry collections and mixed media experimentation as
Mad Orphan Lit.



WHAT IS MAD ORPHAN LIT?

After twenty-two years of publishing poetry and translations through traditional publishing
houses, Ren Powell wanted to take a literal hands-on approach to bookmaking. With two
years of university studio-art classes under her belt, and private bookbinding workshops
with an award-winning binder, she has finally taken the step to pull it all together as the
Mad Orphan Literature project. Impermanence is the first of many projects including
broadsides and gift books.

For more information 
Ren Powell can be reached at renpowell.writer@gmail.com 
Twitter as @madorphanlit 
Insta as @madorphanlit_poetry 


To hear a reading: https://renpowell.com/books-mixed-media-projects/


Thank you Serena @ Poetic Book Tours for the opportunity to read such a fine book. 




Friday, February 5, 2021

 Hello 2021 - I think.

Whether we like it or not isn't really an option, and whether things got better is all a matter of very strict personal opinion by many.  

But welcome back to my blog.   I have been busy  through December 2020 finishing up my photography degree at Sierra College.  I started with my first photography class in 2018 and pushed through graduation in two years with  my full time job and that included SUMMER classes.  And if you know about summer school, well you know what I am talking about.   Two classes - 6 units - 8 weeks.  And my Fall semester was two classes and independent study for 7 units.

When I was not studying or working in 2020, I was COOKing... boy oh boy was I ever. Over time I will share my food projects, dumplings, egg rolls, and homemade noodles.  I was already making sour dough bread 7 years pre pandemic so that was a no brainer for me.  But I did get interested in some fancier techniques etc. 

Well - I know I have always posted so many pictures of San Francisco, but I can not help it.  So here are a few captures from a quick visit, stroll and lunch last Sunday.





Have a fantastic weekend!

Cheers!

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Photo Shoots from the Tiny Studio by Toni

In the late  part of stage two going toward stage 3 of Shelter in Place due to Covid19 - Almost June 2020.
We finally got to see the kiddos inside our home. It was a blissful almost three hours and slowly we trekked into the Tiny Studio, which had been closed up, so the white backing was all wrinkled and there was no prep for a photo shoot.   But it was better than No pictures.   We got to take end of School pictures for the girls and some fun family pictures.  Tiny Studio Lives on and is quite happy with good memories.    


Monday, June 1, 2020

Delicious Monster omelette for two - Recipe

What I did:

One large potato - diced and seasoned and cooked in the air fryer at 400 for about 8 minutes.  (you could skillet fry them...and they's probably even yummier)

2 cups spinach chopped, one small red onion diced up.

I fried five slices of bacon and put to the side. Later chopped up.  I poured most of the grease out and then sautéed the onion and spinach and added chopped onion.  I set it to the side.

I whipped up 5-6 eggs and poured into the skillet and let cook.  I roll the pan around and  push the omelette to the side to get all the inside cooked.

I also roll it around high on the sides of the pan to give a nice crepe edge.  I added the spinach mixture and a layer of potatoes and about 1/4 cup cheese. I folded the omelette over and topped with a sprinkle of cheese and green onions.


I used onion powder, garlic powder and parsley on my potatoes in the air fryer with 1 tablespoon olive oil.

I use salt and pepper here and there.  It was a beautiful omelette for two. There was a little cup of left over potatoes for hubby and we didn't even finish it.

It is a great way to start the day with some spinach and onions...