Day 2 of being home

But it’s not really day two, it has been two weeks of home and work only.  Then just work.  And now that is gone too.

Upon awaking I curled into a ball and cried.  I feel trauma and anxiety.  I had no positive thoughts and I didn’t feel like saying it, or liking posts, or pretending.    Not a funny girl right now.

I’ve watched people that are usually bitchy and mouthy get worse.  I keep hearing that this crisis brings out the best in us.  Nope.   I don’t believe it.

I forced myself to get up.

I got up, swept floor, brushed the  dog outside, took out trash, squirted off the patio... changed a few sheets, threw away mail, washed the outside of the patio door and started laundry.

Partner deals with this by sleeping.    So my anxiety is exacerbated by judgement and anger.

It’s only 10:37 am... I am grieving, angry, and probably selfish.  I have lost the ability to read, knit or focus.   I live by distraction ... I am angry at the dogs for only wanting my attention.

I am an introvert that has lost my coping skills.

I want my partner to overachieve like I do.  Ha ha... yea be me!    Isn’t that funny and stupid.  Why would he want to be me?  He is kind ... I am a mess.

 I am writing this petty shit here .... in hopes that I will also write inspiration stuff too.

I am going to try to have a gentle talk with myself.